Unfamiliar Fishes

Sarah Vowell

The latest book, from the author of The Wordy Shipmates and occasional contributor to NPR's This American Life, follows the descendants of those pilgrims she described in that other book from New England to Hawaii.

It's a bit of a shock to go from Litchfield County Connecticut to Honolulu in the early 19th century. I lived in Connecticut in the mid 20th century and it was nothing close to Hawaii under King Kamehameha the Great. Never once in my New England experience did we ever have songs or dances in praise of king George's genitalia, for just one example.


Sarah Vowell shows he librul NPR bias when she implies that those Hawaiians, back in 1898 didn't want to be Americans. Everyone in every third world hell hole wants to come here and be an American. It has always been that way. We have to build expensive twenty foot fences and put surveillance cameras all over the place and have a whole I.C.E. department to try to keep the world's poor, tired, huddled masses out of here, and those poi eating Hawaiians didn't want it? This just shows why Congress should defund National Public Radio.

Sure, Hawaii was an independent kingdom with it's own heathen customs and a king or twelve, for about a thousand years before those New England Christians came to set them straight, but you know they would have kept running around half naked if nobody taught them better. They owe us a huge debt of gratitude for teaching them about modesty, Christianity and fast food.

I would not recommend Unfamiliar Fishes to anyone who wants to maintain purity of mind and a patriotic American spirit. You Democrats, Unitarians and other un-American crypto-commies might find it interesting.